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[
10.12.06 - 11.44am
]

I'm moving.
Add me.

strong_xenoughx
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seriously, read this. [
9.27.06 - 1.09pm
]
[ mood | at peace ]

"They say there is a young lady is who is beloved of that Great Being, who made and rules the world, and that there are certain seasons in which this Great Being, in some way or other invisible, comes to her and fills her mind with exceeding sweet delight, and that she hardly cares for anything, except to meditate on Him-that she expects after a while to be received up where He is, to be raised up out of the world and caught up into heaven; being assured that He loves her too well to let her remain at a distance from Him always. There she is to dwell with Him, and to be ravished with His love and delight forever. Therefore, if you present all the world before her, with the richest of its treasures, she disregards it, and cares not for it, and is unmindful of any pain or affliction. She has a strange sweetness in her mind, and singular purity in her affections; is most just and conscientious in all her conduct; and you could not persuade her to do anything wrong or singul, if you would give her all the world, lest she should offend this Great Being. She is of a wonderful sweetness, calmness and universal benevolence of mind; especially after this Great God has manifested Himself to her mind. She will sometimes go about from place to place, singing sweetly; and seems to be always full of joy and pleasure; and no one knows for what. She loves to be alone, walking in the fields and groves, and seems to have someone invisible always conversing with her."
-Jonathan Edwards; when he was twenty years old. About his future wife, which he has never met or seen before.


Wow seriously, I saw this and i was like what the heck. This girl is known for all this, and even people who have never met her know her as a daughter of God. As someone who is completely sold out to Him. Completely in love and faithfully His, no matter what is offered to her. No matter what she is tempted with. No matter who her friends are. No matter what circumstances weigh her down. She simply just loves being with Him, more than anything else.

And this is known by not only people that know her, and that she knows; but by people who talk to her, people who see her, and people who have never even MET her. How amazing is that? That is what I trully desire to be known as. This is trully how I want and need to be like. Completely set apart, completely set unto Him. Completely consumed with His presence daily. Completely satisfied with just being with Him. Theres nothing I want more than that.

I'm so close to getting there, but so completely far away.. at the same time. I mean of course theres sin in my life. And theres areas where I just completely suck. But I'm not on the wrong path. I'm just simply human, and simply a sinner. But that doesnt mean that I'm not close and in love with Him. Just like when youre riding a horse, when you fall off.. that doesnt mean you weren't riding the horse. It just means that you lost control at one moment. And whether you decide to get back on, or not, because youre afraid you might fall again; is up to you. But I am on that horse. Yeah I fall off sometimes, but that doesn't mean I wasn't riding to the best of my ability before. Because I am. I am so close to God right now. I'm simply human. Theres simply sin in my bloodstream. So whether I want to sin or not, has nothing to do with the fact that I am absolutely not perfect. of course, I don't want to sin. What TRUE lover of Christ does? Like it says in Romans 5 6 or 7 i forget which chapter..


7What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet."[b] 8But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. 9Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. 10I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.
11For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. 12So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. 13Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.

14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.



I don't expect you to read all that..but basically;

I dont want to sin. I desire whole heartily to run after God, and be holy and righteous before Him, and to be just like Him...

But I dont want to do, I do. And what I want to do I dont do.

It is because sin is living in me. It is in my human nature, it is in my bloodstream. And God's grace covers that. Of course, by that grace I cannot go on sinning whenever I want to. That would be so stupid. But if I do sin out of weakness, even when I trully don't want to.. it is because I am not perfect, and I fall short. Every human does. And therefore, there is no condemnation because i am in christ.

Of course I need to repent and really cling to God and really trust in Him and ask Him to help me with my sin. But just because I DO sin; does not mean that I am completely IN sin.


You catch my drift.
Man I love God.
Hes teaching me so much right now.
really, read that. Because its so vital I think that we know this.
I could be wrong. But I believe this with my whole heart. =]

Read 4 // Post Comment


[
9.12.06 - 5.34pm
]
So I have an interview at lindt chocolate tomorrow at 530.
and a group interview at build a bear next wednesday at 600.
Im really nervous about the group interview.
I've never had one before.

Ariel, what happened at yours, and what should I do?
And anyone else if you have any advice haha. thanks<3

Pray I get something.
Read 2 // Post Comment


[
9.6.06 - 10.04pm
]
new layout. I like it a little. i dont know what do you think?
Read 4 // Post Comment


[
8.13.06 - 12.19pm
]
i am completely in need of a car.
Almost everyone I know, who just got their license has a car.

I mean I have one and stuff.. but its not worth it to fix. itll just keep breaking down.
If anyone has a car that atleast  will get me around.. and will pass inspection .. 
just let me know, and ill pay as much as i can.

I need a job SO bad. 
I dont understand why i haven't been able to find one.
its so rediculous.
Post Comment


[
7.28.06 - 3.03pm
]
[ mood | anxious. ]

So I drove from windham to the zanis and back with adams car on tuesday night by myself.
it felt sooo weird. But I loveeee it.
I hope I get my car on the road soooooon.. or any other car that i can get.
seriously. its like torture having your license and no car.


anyone know anyone whose selling or giving away a car.

and or .. theresea arsenault said that shed give me her car for 200 or less..
with payments of 25 a month.. but it has a cracked windsheild. So I'm not sure
if that would be worth it. do you think so?
lol.
My car .. a neon needs a new computer.. i think.
I still have to get it checked out. worth it  to keep?

Does anyone know anything about cars?


I was gonna buy joes mazda.. but he sold it already. My dad was going to buy it for me too.
i wouldve had to pay him back obviously monthly..  but he sold it.. the day after i asked him about it.
im bummmmmeeeed.

Read 1 // Post Comment


[
7.24.06 - 1.40pm
]
Watch out world.



Becky Duyon is a licensed driver. 








=] =] =] =]
Read 9 // Post Comment


[
7.7.06 - 2.47pm
]

Oh man.

I just wanted to let you all know that God is SO amazingly GOOD.

I just can't believe His faithfulness. And how He always always
shows up to people when they need Him most. How He completely
Is sooo gracious, loving, and amazing. And how much He loves us.
Oh man, I'm just so in love.

Its like .. watching a guy you like, play with a baby,
or if you see him like help someone in need.
only ten times better and not as cheezy haha.

I'm lost in love.

Read 2 // Post Comment


[
5.30.06 - 6.07pm
]
does anyone know who debrah was in the bible?  
Read 4 // Post Comment


[
5.18.06 - 11.10am
]

Well, the mous is broken for some for some reason on the computer.

just my luck and I had to do a report too.
arghhh.

 

life sucks sometimes mann.

So the sun is out again, and my moods are better.
I swear they change with the weather.
argh.

I'm getting a D- in history on my mid quarter report.
What the heck. I did all my homework and got a 82 on the test,
but got a 60 on the other one.

that should average out to like a b- or a C.
I absolutely HATE this school.
I really need to find a place to move to haha.

Like honestly,  I really don't want to be here anymore.
Its like rediculous.
They say Classical is so friggin great?
Why don't they actually build it on friggin dry ground, instead of a frirggin swamp like idiots.
We have to be ready to completely shut down any second and its like; so retarded.

I'm tired.
I got a two hour nap yesterday, which was good.
I needed it.

Just one more day, and its friday!!

Hey Carrie or Jack;
would it be okay if I came up around 11ish tomorrow?
Or would that be too early?

I could do some of my own homework, if you guys need to do your school.
hah, yeah kay.

carrie call me after school.

well, done I guess?

Post Comment


[
5.11.06 - 7.06pm
]
I had this on myspace from Steve; so I figured I'd throw it up for youuuuzz.
DOITUP.


Six things you wonder about me:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

Five things you like about me:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Four things you don't like about me:
1.
2.
3.
4.

Three of my best features:
1.
2.
3.

Two words that describe me:
1.
2.
Read 5 // Post Comment


[
5.9.06 - 7.55pm
]
I can't even put a drawing pad in my myspace,
without people making rude comments to me.


Honestly, can't people grow up?
Can't we just let eachother be
happy and content?

I'm so tired of having
to fight to be happy everyday.
I'm so tired, of having to
continually throw off words

like fat, ugly, gross, nasty,
cunt, bitch, etc. you name it.



I don't want to be near people anymore.
Read 1 // Post Comment


[
5.4.06 - 7.10am
]
Still selling! 300 minimum.


I baught it for $700 less than a year ago.
I'll take best offer.

Let me know!!
Post Comment


I'm shutting down. [
4.21.06 - 12.16am
]
[ mood | morbid ]

I'm completely shutting down.
I'm not much of a person, or who I usually am.
I thought I was so strong. I thought I could
face anything with hope. But I just don't know
how I'm going to see my way out of this.

I love you all so much.
Be safe.
I can't lose anymore people.



I'm going to be in maine all weekend probably.
For the wake/funeral.
Pray for me. But especially the Pelletiers.
Me/all her friends; might have been hit so hard w
with this, but I can't even imagine how theyre handling this.




I love you girl.
You rest easy, knowing nothing will ever be the same without you.
she came when we were freezing; and left us burning up.

Read 2 // Post Comment


[
4.20.06 - 10.59am
]
[ mood | confused ]

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend.
I would've stayed up with you all night.
Had I known how to save a life.


I keep telling myself, it was just an accident. Shes in the hospitol but shes not dead.
Shes going to wake up any second, and everythings going to be okay.
Nothings wrong.

I just can't accept this.

you were an inspiration to me, and so many others. You were only 16.
sixteen.
You of all people, I would never have thought to lose completely from my life. You loved me when I didnt deserve it,
you cried with me, you laughed with me, you were always there.
You faught to claim your place on this earth, you crawled through fires, with that baby on your side. 
You were beautiful, funny, sarcastic, and foreward. To the point.
You were always so real, and wouldn't stand fakeness.
We need people like you on this earth.  We need you here.
Mother, daughter, sister, friend.
Theres no one like you& you will never be forgotten.

I read Revelations 21&22 last night.
I wanted to know just what you were seeing, or saw as you came into His courts.
You got ready for your wedding yesterday. I could just imagine how amazing you looked&felt.
I remember you telling me, all you wanted was a really good guy, that would marry you, and be a good father, and husband.
You finally got that guy, just like you always wanted.
I love you.
Even though I'm still not ready to say goodbye,
I know youre in a much better place than you could ever be here.






Monique Pelletier.
April 19, 2006. RIP
I fell asleep today; and I dreamt of you.
you told me this was all just a dream;
that I'd wake up and find you to be okay.
That I'd wake up and everything would be
just like it   a   l    w    a    y   s       w   a   s .





Read 1 // Post Comment


can you hear my battle cry? [
4.3.06 - 10.54pm
]
[ mood | flabbergasted ]

Wow. I'm not even sure where to begin.
I don't even know what I'm supposed to write. But this
freedom, joy, and love I'm feeling just needs to get out.
My God, just completely blows me away beyond all measure.
Its like I'm on a honeymoon with Him. Intimacy and all.
No; for you who aren't sure what I'm talking about; not sex. That would be perversion.
I'm just being completely wooed, and romanced by Daddy God.
I hardly know how to explain it. But I'm just comming into this new season, where
everything I know speak do or think is consumed by God.
Myabe crazy to you. But; gosh I'm not even over the line yet.

My hearts been beating lately for the hurt.
People who have been broken by churches, and people of God.
I see so many of my old friends, and new people that I've talked to..
And I just see this pain, and regret striking in their eyes.
Maybe not even hurt by churches, but circumstances that happened within churches.
Some people think they're never the same because of it.
Like they won't ever be able to let go of the bitterness, and hurt and regret of the past.
I just want everyone to know how God really can heal you. 
Can peice those broken areas of your life back together.
He can, and He will; if you chose to let Hin.
I just want them to know&experience Jesus, the way I have in the past three years.
To know His unfailing, unashamed, jealous love for His BRIDE.
I want them to know that there is hope beyond those doors, that seem to sufficate you in.
Hes sitting right next to you.
I want the church to break free of humanism, and religion.
I want God to shatter sunday christianity. And rip those sunday spectators right from their chairs.
I'm longing for Him to break complacentcy&compramise.
We are the CHILDREN of the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE.
And its about time we start TAKING BACK OUR inheritance as the sons and daughters of God.


I REALLY WANT TO GO TO THE JHOP RUMBLE lol.

Ariel, or Tina;
Do you think theres a way I could.
Because I doubt I'd have a ride there at all.

I read this in english yesterday; and I got a lot out of it.
Maybe you will too?

Sympathy

I know what the caged bird feels.
Ah me, when the sun is bright on the upland slopes,
when the wind blows soft through the springing grass
and the river floats like a sheet of glass,
when the first bird sings and the first bud ops,
and the faint perfume from its chalice steals.
I know what the caged bird feels.

I know why the caged bird beats his wing
till its blood is red on the cruel bars,
for he must fly back to his perch and cling
when he fain would be on the bow aswing.
And the blood still throbs in the old, old scars
and they pulse again with a keener sting.
I know why he beats his wing.

I know why the caged bird sings.
Ah, me, when its wings are bruised and its bosom sore.
It beats its bars and would be free.
It's not a carol of joy or glee,
but a prayer that it sends from its heart's deep core,
a plea that upward to heaven it flings.
I know why the caged bird sings.
 

Paul Laurence Dunbar

Read 2 // Post Comment


[
4.3.06 - 10.52pm
]

Wow. I'm not even sure where to begin.
I don't even know what I'm supposed to write. But this
freedom, joy, and love I'm feeling just needs to get out.
My God, just completely blows me away beyond all measure.
Its like I'm on a honeymoon with Him. Intimacy and all.
No; for you who aren't sure what I'm talking about; not sex. That would be perversion.
I'm just being completely wooed, and romanced by Daddy God.
I hardly know how to explain it. But I'm just comming into this new season, where
everything I know speak do or think is consumed by God.
Myabe crazy to you. But; gosh I'm not even over the line yet.

My hearts been beating lately for the hurt.
People who have been broken by churches, and people of God.
I see so many of my old friends, and new people that I've talked to..
And I just see this pain, and regret striking in their eyes.
Maybe not even hurt by churches, but circumstances that happened within churches.
Some people think they're never the same because of it.
Like they won't ever be able to let go of the bitterness, and hurt and regret of the past.
I just want everyone to know how God really can heal you. 
Can peice those broken areas of your life back together.
He can, and He will; if you chose to let Hin.
I just want them to know&experience Jesus, the way I have in the past three years.
To know His unfailing, unashamed, jealous love for His BRIDE.
I want them to know that there is hope beyond those doors, that seem to sufficate you in.
Hes sitting right next to you.
I want the church to break free of humanism, and religion.
I want God to shatter sunday christianity. And rip those sunday spectators right from their chairs.
I'm longing for Him to break complacentcy&compramise.
We are the CHILDREN of the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE.
And its about time we start TAKING BACK OUR inheritance as the sons and daughters of God.

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<br [...] /i>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<p align="right"><font size="1">Wow. I'm not even sure where to begin.<br />I don't even know what I'm&nbsp;supposed to write.&nbsp;But this<br />freedom, joy, <strong>and </strong>love I'm feeling just <u>needs</u> to get out.<br />My God, just completely blows me away beyond all measure.<br />Its like I'm on a honeymoon with Him. Intimacy and all.<br /><em>No; for you who aren't sure what I'm talking about; not sex. That would be perversion.<br /></em>I'm just being completely wooed, and romanced by Daddy God.<br />I hardly know how to explain it. But I'm just comming into this new season, where<br />everything I know speak do or think is <em>consumed </em>by God.<br />Myabe crazy to you. But; gosh I'm not even over the line yet.<br /><br />My hearts been beating lately for the hurt.<br />People who have been broken by churches, and people of God.<br />I see so many of my old friends, and new people that I've talked to..<br />And I just see this pain, and regret striking in their eyes.<br />Maybe not even hurt by churches, but circumstances that happened within churches.<br />Some people think they're never the same because of it.<br />Like they won't ever be able to let go of the bitterness, and hurt and regret of the past.<br />I just want everyone to know how God really <strong>can </strong>heal you.&nbsp;<br />Can peice those broken areas of your life back together.<br /><em>He can, and He will; if you chose to let Hin.<br /></em>I just want them to know&amp;experience Jesus, the way I have in the past three years.<br />To know His unfailing, unashamed, jealous love for His BRIDE.<br />I want them to know that there <em>is </em>hope beyond those doors, that seem to sufficate you in.<br /><em>Hes sitting right next to you.<br /></em>I want the church to break free of humanism, and <strong><font size="4">religion.<br /></font></strong>I want God to <font size="3"><strong><u>shatter</u></strong></font> <strong>sunday christianity.</strong> And rip those sunday spectators <em>right from their chairs</em>.<br />I'm <strong>longing </strong>for Him to <u>break </u><strong>complacentcy&amp;compramise.<br /></strong>We are the CHILDREN of the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE.<br />And its about time we start <em>TAKING BACK </em><strong><font size="4">OUR</font></strong> inheritance as the <strong>sons and daughters </strong>of God.<br /><br /><br /I REALLY WANT TO GO TO THE JHOP RUMBLE.lol. <br /><br /><br />Ariel, or Tina;<br />Do you think theres a way I could.<br />Because I doubt I'd have a ride there at all.</font></p>
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[
2.21.06 - 4.08pm
]
I don't think I can go to winter encounter. =/
Because my parents don't have the money for it.
And neither do I.
Nobody is flippin' hiring for work down here!!

Anybody know how I could make $125 dollars by March10??

Anyone who knows anyone that needs a babysitter?
I don't care where they live, I'll make it.
unless its maine or something ha.

Kay.
Let me know.

Oh, and I'm selling this guitar;


I baught it for $700 less than a year ago.
I'll take best offer.

Let me know!!
Read 4 // Post Comment


[
2.7.06 - 11.27am
]

What do you think?Collapse )

Read 4 // Post Comment


[
1.21.06 - 11.00pm
]
[ mood | still wanting more.. ]

You know,
I'm realizing ..
A LOT.


I'm really just seeing myself in a different light.
And you know?

I'm truly a really good, amazing person.
I know I am.
And, if people dont want to accept and admit that fact; then thats their loss.
I know that I am beautiful, amazing, wonderful and super cool.
I'm not cocky at all or whatever.
But I just know who I am.


Yeah I could be annoying to you, yeah I get in the way.
Yeah I go places I'm not welcome at, or where I dont belong or fit in...
But you know? I was never made to fit in.

I have never fit in anywhere I go,
and thats not neccessarily a bad thing because thats the way God made me.

He didnt fit into this world either, you know?
The only place I have ever really fit perfectly, was in His arms.
and no where else.
But thats the ONLY place I ever WANT to fit.
Forever.

I'm comming to new heights with Him.
Where I'm just like drooling and gawking over even the reality of who He is..
and just like the fact that He loves me sooo deeply, and that He desires me more than I could ever know.
And Hes ALL I desire. Or could ever need.

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